April 27, 2006
Holiday romances roundup
Thanks to the wonders of Google Alerts, an excellent way to keep on top of any subject area, here's a quick roundup about what some Internet commentators are saying about holiday romances.
A Web article entitled Holiday Romance by Jim Keeble lists five rules of holiday romances, all of which seem exceptionally valid to me:
- Don’t go looking for it.
- Don’t go unprepared.
- Don’t discuss life back home.
- Keep photographs to a minimum.
- Don’t continue it after the holiday is over.
Note from me: One in 30 or more people do continue the romance after the holiday. And as Jim promptly notes, "Jeremy, an Irish friend of mine, met a Spanish girl on holiday in Salamanca four years ago. He ended up marrying her and they now live in wedded bliss in North London."
In the Sydney Morning Herald, we find Looking for love in all the right places, with somewhat surprising recommendations for the top hook-up spots for women. I would have expected Jamaica, the Gambia and an Asia pick (Nepal, Phuket in Thailand, Bali), but instead we have:
Top three hook-up hot spots for women:Lisdoonvarna, Ireland
The Irish have a long tradition of matchmaking, and in Lisdoonvarna, County Clare, the annual September Matchmaking Festival attracts 100,000 international visitors. A healthy 75 per cent are men, and the organisers claim 100 weddings result each year from their efforts.
Anchorage, Alaska
This remote city has so many single men per woman it's known as "Manchorage". It's cold, but you'll have an extensive choice of human hot-water bottles.
Silicon Valley, USA
In this Californian tech city, single men outnumber single women by almost 5500. And they're not all geeks. This is one of the world's most educated and wealthy bachelor populations.
All of the above are more "marriage magnet" cities for women, more so than hook-up spots.
And similarly, the top hookup spots for men seem strange, but the article does acknowledge these are really hookup spots for women (and I agree):
Top three hook-up hot spots for men:Anywhere in Italy
Surprised? Consider the logic; thanks to all those movies and books about lonely women finding love with Tuscan hunks, Italy now attracts one-third more female single tourists than male. Canny blokes should head there and snap up the surplus.
St. Croix, Virgin Islands, Caribbean
With a 54 per cent resident (and stunning) female population as well as thousands of wealthy bachelorettes dropping in each year, a red-blooded male can't avoid action here.
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Club Dance Holidays specialises in breaks with dance lessons in Latin American locations. The tango trips to Buenos Aires are considered the sultriest, with 70 per cent of participants single and women outnumbering men. See www.clubdanceholidays.com.
Don't end up with holiday baggage! warns Ryan Oliver from the Down Under Web site Webwombat:
Holiday romances are curious things. Some people go through their entire lives without ever having one. Others go miles out of their way every summer to have them because they are addicted to the transience, the inconsequential nature of mad flings that neither they nor their part-time partners have any plans to take further.Others blunder into holiday romances and end up getting thoroughly messed up because of them. They mistake the blinding light and heat of a phosphorescent fling for love and devotion and actually consider changing their entire lives for the new man or woman temporarily in their lives.
It matters little that keeping this new flame alive might involve you emigrating to Fiji or putting in for a transfer from your office in, say, Sydney, to the Gold Coast branch.
The highs and lows of holiday romance by Susan Quilliam, on the UK women's Web site iVillage.co.uk, looks at the ups and downs of holiday flings, noting, "A holiday fling can make you feel like a queen and boost your confidence sky-high." An extended section of RotR 
(Romance on the Road) comments on mental health and travel sex, and Quilliam also comments on this:
Holiday sex can be brilliant. The excitement of being on holiday, combined with sun, bareflesh and a few drinks can put even the most demure person in the mood for sex.The problem is that holiday sex can get out of control. Women often report getting carried away with the moment and having sex with a stranger. Once the sun comes up, all they're left with is guilt and regrets.
If you click the various sections at the bottom of each article, you will reach factoids on "How to avoid heartbreak" and "will the romance last" and "cross-cultural romance:"
If you pair off with a local, you can get to see the country you're visiting from an insider's point of view - and often have the holiday of a lifetime.But be warned - dating a local comes with hazards. Firstly, you may be just one of a series of summer flings for him. And, on the other hand, if you are both serious, be prepared for potential clashes of culture. You and your holiday beau might have deep-rooted attitudes that you don't share.
Cosmo UK even has a quiz to determine whether a holiday romance is "just a fling" or something more, at this link.
Finally, the Sydney Morning Herald columnist "Sam in the City" asks, Holiday romances: can they last?:
And while the majority of the 2,000 people surveyed said they have experienced a holiday romance with nearly half declaring that the heady mix of sun, sea and sand made falling in love all the easier, things were completely different once they returned back to home ground.
Her blog led to a fast-and-furious posting of comments, with many answering yes and others no. I posted a quick little note --
About 1 in 30 holiday romances leads to something permanent, according to a study by Dan Hellberg on casual travel sex.Even if they don't last, they can be a good idea in the sense that they often help people rebound from problems in their home countries.
-- and have received lots of feedback from Australians interested in my new book. Will Romance on the Road be mainly be of interest in Australia (and France, from which I have already received an order)?! We'll see.
- posted by jbelliveau at 1:18 PM in Love, Sex, Romance and Travel
